Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
