Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We need to get me chipped asap
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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