i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize