anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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