nut hugger
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
