we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
