My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
