DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
