Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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