big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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