The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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