wakey wakey hands off snakey
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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