Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize