You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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