I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize