I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
