She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
