just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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