no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
