I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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