things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My balls are so social today.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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