i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
