you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
