Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
