do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
