Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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