Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
