he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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