After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
