Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
