just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
