I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i think my cat just said my name.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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