Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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