I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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