Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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