Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
