so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
