I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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