No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
