the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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