i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
