phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
