After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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