my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
