You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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