tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize