i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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