Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Randomize
