Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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