You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
