while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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