I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize