There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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