Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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