South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
