you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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