Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
