My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
